Photo credit : geese amongst lions
In the month of December, my dearest cousin visited a lot & being the chatterbox that she is, she was never done regaling me with all manner of stories & tid bits. So there we were on one of such visits, gisting away when a family friend came visiting to drop his wedding invitation. After he left our conversation veered to how there were so many weddings scheduled for the month of December.
She started to tell me about a friend of my uncle’s who had just travelled to the village to get married & how my young uncle had come up with the ‘genius’ idea that he would search for a village wife in the few weeks he was to spend in the village for Christmas, just like his friend who had declared that educated girls in Lagos had “opened eye” too much & were apparently not submissive so he had found himself a fifteen year old village girl to marry (my cousin swore that she was thirteen) & now his friend, my uncle, wanted his own meek, unspoilt, submissive lamb of a wife as well. She had tried to tell him how it would be more beneficial to marry a grown woman that could bring something apart from submissiveness to the marriage but his mind was made up.
As I write, he is still in the village on the ‘great hunt’, we await his return, child bride in tow.
A close friend recently told me how his uncle, who is his father figure, met his girlfriend/ wife-to-be for the first time and wanted to know if she was a virgin when they started dating. He replied in the affirmative & his uncle gave his approval. I couldn’t help wondering if the girl would have been declared unfit for a wife for his nephew if she had not met the virginity criteria.
I recently saw on an interactive blog, an ‘advert’ put up by a lady who was in search of a wife for her nephew & the graduate & virginity conditions were non negotiable for her.
I remember how back in school, crammed into the hostel in first year, some girls would almost break a leg rushing back to the hostel after classes to cook for boyfriends, carting the food off to their rooms & zooming back with their dirty laundry in tow.
One can only hope that in seeking a thousand yards of spousal material we take the time to evaluate our own ‘worthiness’ & the abundance or lack of fabric we represent to the other party so that in the longrun no one is left feeling shortchanged, like they’re holding the short end of the stick.
We must give as much as we demand, maybe even more.
Goodnight my lovelies, have a great week ahead.